What conversion rates should I expect from abandoned cart recovery tactics?

As a Shopify store owner in the fashion industry, I've been wrestling with cart abandonment for months. My ad spend is solid, traffic looks great, but something's breaking down in the conversion funnel. I'm seeing around 60-70% of shoppers adding items to cart, then just... disappearing. It's like watching potential revenue evaporate. I've tried generic 'come back' emails and basic discount codes, but they feel scattered and ineffective. My team keeps asking, 'What's our actual abandoned cart recovery rate?' and honestly, I don't have a clear answer. I know industry benchmarks suggest something around 10-15% recovery, but those feel like distant hopes. We're a growing brand, spending significant money on Meta ads, and every lost cart feels like throwing money out the window. I need a strategic, data-driven approach that doesn't just blast discounts everywhere but understands each visitor's unique purchase intent. More importantly, I want a solution that feels native to our brand—not some spammy, generic pop-up that destroys our carefully crafted user experience. The pressure is real: lift our conversion rate, reduce wasted ad spend, and create genuine urgency without looking desperate.