How much should I spend on retargeting abandoners?

Let me be brutally honest - I'm bleeding money on retargeting, and I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore. Every month, I'm pumping thousands into Facebook and Google ads trying to win back cart abandoners, but the returns feel like a shot in the dark. I've got solid traffic, people are adding products to their cart, but then... nothing. They vanish. And each vanished cart feels like cash just slipping through my fingers. My team keeps pushing me to 'optimize retargeting', but what does that even mean? Percentages, budgets, bid strategies - it's overwhelming. I know cart abandonment is a massive problem in e-commerce. Industry stats suggest around 70% of carts get abandoned, which means I'm potentially losing out on huge revenue. But I can't just throw money at the problem and hope something sticks. I need a strategic approach that doesn't require me to become a full-time digital marketing expert. I want something that understands visitor intent, creates genuine urgency, and helps me convert those fence-sitters without looking desperate or spammy. My margins are tight, and every ad dollar needs to work harder. I'm looking for a method that feels smart, targeted, and actually moves the needle on my conversion rate.