How do I implement exit-intent technology?

I've been struggling with cart abandonment for months. Every time a potential customer moves their cursor towards closing the browser or hitting the back button, I feel like I'm watching money literally disappear. Our traffic is solid—we're spending good money on Meta ads—but our conversion rate keeps hovering around a frustratingly low 2-3%. I know these visitors are interested; they're browsing, sometimes even adding items to cart, but something stops them from completing the purchase. It's like they're standing at the checkout and suddenly getting cold feet. I've tried generic pop-ups, but they feel spammy and intrusive. What I really want is a sophisticated way to understand why visitors are about to leave and give them a compelling reason to stay. I need a solution that feels personalized, creates genuine urgency, and doesn't make my brand look desperate. My team keeps talking about 'exit-intent technology,' but I'm not sure how to implement it without making our site feel like a used car dealership.